You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are
nose prints all over the inside.
You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs
its walk.
You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your
dog gets thirsty at night.
You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog
gets a taste, too).
You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach
all its favorite spots.
You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is
afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of
your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.
Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site.
You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but
she understands.
Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not
immediately afterward, of course).
You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.
You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your
dog.
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be
comfortable.
You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than
go to the movies with your sweetie.
You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of
the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your
dog loves to go with you.
You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for
pick-ups pops out.
You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can
use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit
hip-deep in water.
You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day.
Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter
remedy from the drugstore.
Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build
her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.
Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.
You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard
chirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play
and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think
of your behavior is yet another story).
You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.
You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).
You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you
get.
You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before
work.
You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you
need to go home and see your dog.
Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a
hike (both days).
You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.
When you get your latest roll of film and there isn't a single
picture of a two-legged person in it...
- Author Unknown.
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